So there I was, minding my business, then _bam_ — handsome man walks in. Jawline sharp kama ruler, cologne inatoka 3 streets away, anasema anafanya "corporate". My brain immediately: _mature, stable, anaweza lipa bill_ 😌
First date: ananipeleka coffee place ya "we vibe first". Bill ikakuja 1200, akatoa simu akaanza kuangalia M-Pesa balance... aka scroll... aka scroll tena... "Babe unaeza kulipia leo? Nitakutumia kesho nikipata salary."
Me, soft girl era: sawa babes, no stress 😇
Week two: anasema "my place iko na renovation" so tunakutana kwangu. Netflix, takeout, na mimi nalipa delivery. Anakuja na briefcase tu, no luggage, anasema "I travel light — corporate life."
Month one: nilikuwa CEO, na landlord wa hiyo relationship. Rent? Nililipa. Uber? Mimi. "Team building" ya office? Nilituma 5k juu "it will come back 10x babe, trust me."
Nangoja returns kama stock market 😂
The plot twist: One day nikaenda kumtembelea "office" yake. Kumbe "corporate" ilikuwa ni kukaa kwa Java na laptop, na "boardroom" ilikuwa bench ya Uhuru Park. Nyumba? Hana. Alikuwa anaishi kwa cousin kwa sofa.
Nikamuuliza "so the renovation?"
Akasema "it's a long term project... in my mind."
Mazee I used my money expecting dividends, nikapata vibes tu na dry January every month 🤣🤣
Manze afadhali nidate msee wa mkokoteni 🤣 anajua survival tackticks na akona hustle legit.
Image source: Gustavo Fring via Pexels