Found myself lying on the streets of Nakuru that fateful day. Hungry, feeling cold just feeling pity for myself. It was on 2nd May 2021. I can't forget that day for the rest of my life.
There is a saying that keeps me going. "Although life be lifying God be Godding too". In the morning I woke up feeling like an unwanted thing, a failure . Every kind of awful thing about life.
I started looking for job I didn't want to be known by that situation. Luckily I found a job in the hotel. It was not easy at all but I didn't want to continue with that life so I did everything and I was paid Ksh400. I booked a lodging and paid 200. I continued that way until now I'm own my own space still pressing on.
Most of the time I've found myself crying. No one to turn to or tell what you are going through
Every corner you are being compared with someone. That's me Faith. I've been compared with my siblings, my cousin , my best friend. No one believes you are enough. That really hurts.
Self esteem drops upto now but I trust the process. I've become quiet just seeing things and shutting up. My silence have become so much that it scares people. They keep asking why I don't talk more anymore and in the past I used to talk. I just control myself and smile faintly with alot of pain inside.
Everything is not okay yet. But I'm trusting the process fam.
Feeling drained, emotional unavailable, nowhere to run to, no one to run to, just scandals and scandals relying on relatives to survive which comes with alot of disrespect.
Feeling to give up, you remember ur family background is not pleasing
You don't have a job. You are just there. You are staying with family but only thing they provide for you is food and shelter. You do all the house chores like a maid but you don't have a salary.
You feel like disappearing from this world but you don't know where to hide. Don't give up your day is coming.
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